a warm place

As I alluded to in my previous post remembering our dear furbaby Drogon, I’m happy to finally share this project I worked on late last year through Winter earlier this year and write about it five months later. This was initially going to be a director's commentary over the video, but after listening to a first pass, I’m going to spare you and am opting for written commentary.

My Aunt asked me if I’d make a slideshow for the family to celebrate the life of their brother/ my Uncle Walt who passed away in 2024. I felt honored and excited to help as this is something I enjoyed doing. I was then immediately faced with the reality that my Uncle was very cognizant of the world around him and actively avoided being away from the front side of a camera lens.

Not yet knowing what material was available for this slideshow I had to assume I’d have to create more than I could compile. With that came the intriguing task of putting something in front of family that they could connect with which wasn't explicitly footage of Walt. Outside of photography, I’ve enjoyed taking my drone along with me on vacations to capture unique landscapes so that became my main starting point for this project. I do want to add one quick memory that helped drive the storytelling of this video.

I remember a visit to Walt’s in Long Beach with a late night walk to the ocean when I was 7 or 8. It may have been after one of his art shows, but likely just during a family get together. He took a couple of us a few blocks down to the waterfront and I vividly remember how quiet everyone was. This wasn’t a show and tell, it was just a show. You could absorb whatever you wanted. I was not familiar with bigger city life in any way outside of what I'd seen on tv and movies, but was surprised by how peaceful it was after hours. Recalling how Walt tapped the crosswalk button with his elbow, how calm the sodium city lights tinted the dark ocean and again how little was said. It was a look outside of my bubble and it was one of my first memories experiencing the outside world, observing everything for myself and drawing my own conclusions.

Walt spent his adult life in Southern California between Long Beach, Laguna Beach and Palm Springs. He was very much into natural outdoor landscapes and loved hiking with his cats while enjoying the world around him. Thankfully I was relatively familiar with these areas from my time growing up in Southern California so I did what I do best and created a textual storyboard plan on a spreadsheet! Traditionally I’ll latch onto certain songs I connect with (usually on an instrumental level) and keep them stored away for a future video/photo project then couple them up with visuals as I feel they connect.

One of my favorite soundscape driven bands is Nine Inch Nails. In a world where everything can feel rushed to be consumed in 15 second pieces, I find their music really holds your attention no matter how long it takes. There is no timeline it conforms to. Even before the lead Trent Reznor began scoring movies, his catalogue of instrumental tracks was impressive. Most of my first cassettes/CDs I owned were movie soundtracks, but NINs “Ghosts I-IV” album in 2008 was 36 tracks of textured instrumental work and the first of that kind I really gravitated to in my adult life.

Walt never really discussed music and leaned more toward visual art so the soundtrack for the video was something I’d be flying solo on. I’ve often thought of him like a middle aged house cat you bring home for the first time. A bit of patience and feeling out your surroundings is needed, but once the bond and trust is there, the connection is made allowing you to explore each other’s personality. Sonically I subconsciously attributed Nine Inch Nails to my Uncle’s personality and art more than any other song/artist. The music connection is one thing, but the artwork on their albums is a spitting image of Walt’s in a way that I have not seen elsewhere.

Walt’s art centered around found objects showcasing them with various textures and multidimensional colors which is very reminiscent of my connection with Russell Mills who has collaborated with NIN frequently. I attached a few different track ideas to the project that I enjoyed and felt bridged the gap with the story I wanted to tell. It’s the story I hope Walt would feel he wanted to tell. One song in particular “Right Where It Belongs” was a track I connected with the lyrics instantly when it came out 20 years ago. It’s one I thought I would want for myself when time ultimately taps me on the shoulder. The track before it on the album “Beside You In Time” could very well be the reason for that.

While I enjoy watching behind the scenes clips for my favorite movies and listening to artists describe their inspirations, I love the ambiguity of art and making your own connection with it. I’ve seen people do a complete 180 when they find out what their favorite artwork, song, movie, story is actually about. It’s a slippery slope if you’re unable to separate your connection with the art and appreciate that it doesn’t have to coincide with the ethos the artist had in mind when it was created. I enjoy both aspects.

Around the time I cobbled together drone clips from two SoCal trips, I received quite a few photos/ home movies from throughout Walt’s life that I had never seen. Saying I was relieved at that point was an understatement. I now had some Walt specific visuals to share and didn’t have to fully rely on this drone video to help loved ones on this journey. My Mom had also culled through 50 hours of my dad’s home videos to highlight those rare times when Walt was in front of the camera as well. Throughout this period of compilation the family had also expressed interest in providing stories of their time with Walt so now I had more content that I could have imagined. 

One sleepless night during that time I struggled with how to put all of these different photo, video and text mediums and it hit me that it would be easiest to group them individually into chapters. The following night I had remembered reading a quick article about the four phases of grief. Apparently the common five pillars of grief was crafted for those personally coming to terms with their own impending death and the four phases were for those losing a loved one. I had four batches of footage so I was excited to finally connect the dots.

By this time the video was pushing 40 minutes between the drone, photo, home movies and memories provided by the family. I figured we were going to have the most number of family members together in one place in 15 years so why not go big and try to find a movie theater to show what I now treated to as a short film. Fortunately The Frida Cinema in Santa Ana, CA came into the equation and could not have been more accommodating even down to adding Walt’s name to the theater marquee. I had definitely never done anything to this scale, but fortunately the screening went beautifully. In true Hollywood fashion I split the last phase into two parts adding moments from the day of the screening when we hiked and scattered Walt plus his beloved cat's “cremains” across his favorite places.

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Thank you dad. You were always photographing, always videotaping, always documenting whether we liked it or not. You built a trust with that middle aged house cat named Walt and got him out of his comfort zone enough for us to enjoy memories and laughs with him on video decades later. Your contribution gave this movie a purpose. 

Thank you Wendy and Donna for all of the photos that gave this movie a timeline and a look into who Walt was.

Thank you Mom for combing through hours of home movies to help me save time with timestamps.

Thank you Shayna for giving me the space needed for this project as well as the always magical frame paintings. This is probably the 3rd or 4th round of commissions I’ve asked you to do for me and I know that bill is coming due any day now, but you can rock the shit out of some custom painted frames. I’m glad I get to show you off.

Thank you everyone for your beautiful stories. Connor, yours forced me to tweak my requests to others, I loved it so much.

Thank you Trevor, Martin and Jill at The Frida Cinema for hosting and allowing me the vessel to share my art. And thank you for keeping cinema alive.

Thank you Walt. For being you and by making the innermost impacts on those around you. 

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“When you set out to do the impossible, it helps to find a source for inspiration…” The Frida Cinema

“Do not go quietly into that good night. RAGE, RAGE against the dying of the light.” Dylan Thomas

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